Could ONE question change the way you look at the world?

I had a friend who used to complain A LOT. It was always the same stuff too. I would do my best to listen and offer advice I thought might be helpful. 

We wouldn’t see each other for a few weeks, and then the next time we got together, it would be almost the exact same conversation again.

All the same complaints.

All the same issues.

Usually, they never tried my suggestions. 

It’s like they were addicted to talking about their problems. 

The moment I saw him, I could tell he wasn’t in a good mood, and of course, trying to be helpful, I’d ask “What’s wrong?”

Mistake. I didn’t realize it at the time, because I was acting out of instinct and compassion, but when we ask the question “What’s wrong?”, we encourage the person to focus on their problems. 

Their attention will go straight to all the reasons they have to complain.

And what we focus on expands.

It gets bigger. 

The more you think about your problems, the more you reinforce for yourself that you HAVE problems. 

The more overwhelming the problems will feel. 

The more of your energy they will consume. 

This is why (good) therapists will suggest activities to break out of a depressive funk. 

At its most severe stage, people suffering from depression will struggle to get out of bed and take a shower, or clean their room etc. Depressive people are extremely prone to rumination - just dwelling and stewing on negative thoughts.

And the more they do this, the more attention and energy they give those problems, the more those problems expand.

But getting up, getting outside, getting lost in an activity, and actually DOING something can be a great way to start to shrink your problems.

Now don’t get me wrong, we all have problems.

Some problems require careful and clever thought to find solutions. I get that. 

But as a default mode, focusing on “What’s wrong” is a bad strategy for lasting happiness. Instead, I’ve started flipping the script with my loved ones. Now I’ll ask them “What’s right?”.

At first I got weird looks and raised eyebrows. It’s not a question we’re very used to answering.

But “What’s Right” is a powerful way to reframe our situations. What we focus on expands, and as we move our attention off of what’s wrong and onto everything that is going right for us, our gratitude grows. 

And here’s the thing: Our list of “What’s Right” is probably 10x bigger than our list of “What’s wrong”. 

There are always dozens, hundreds, even zillions of things to find.

Something to be grateful for. Something that’s going right for you.

Can you find it? Can you recognize it and give thanks for it? 

Maybe it’s small.

Maybe it’s the fact that you woke up this morning. You had somewhere to sleep last night, right? 

Did you eat this morning? Do you have anyone in your life who loves you?

You’re breathing, aren’t you? That’s going right for you. 

As you shift your focus to what's going right, you start to see the world in a different light.

It's not about ignoring your problems or pretending they don't exist. It's about recognizing that even in the midst of challenges, there are always things to be grateful for.

Find those things.

So, the next time you find yourself falling into the trap of dwelling on what's wrong, take a moment to pause and ask yourself "What's right?". 

Make a list of all the things that are going well in your life. Maybe put them on post-it notes around your house where you’ll see them.

As you make this a daily practice, you'll notice a shift in your perspective.

You'll find that you're more optimistic, more resilient, and better equipped to handle life's challenges.

It's a simple question, but it has the power to transform your life in profound ways.

If you want to improve your mindset and mental health, then I invite you to join us for H40.

It’s a 40-day sprint to better health that we are running starting on May 1st this year.

Registration is open now, and it’s FREE, so sign up HERE

It’s not just a fitness course. It’s a holistic approach to improving your health from the inside out - mind, body and spirit. Because they are all interconnected.

Drop in your email address and I’ll make sure you get the invite to H40 as we get closer.